The Discipline of Masters Master Your Time Overcome Obstacles and Lead with Confidence

Hell is the place where our mental, physical, and emotional faculties are at the mercy of uncontrollable habits and destructive behavior patterns. These obstacles separate the achievement of lifelong dreams from bitter failures, turning our lives into either heaven or purgatory.

Self-defeating behaviors—referred to in this book as SDBs—are barriers of defeat that act as internal coping mechanisms, usually cultivated from a young age. As our dependency on these behaviors grows in strength, we unintentionally nurture an addictive cycle providing us with instant pleasure and relief from our pain.

Over the years of repetitive practice, these behaviors become integrated into our lifestyle and threaten to rob us of everything we stand for.

As our lives become unstructured and we lose sight of what matters most, a self-destructive cycle begins. Our lives become altered and twisted, forging pathways that eventually lead to a chain of self-defeating habits.

We have a hard time accepting that we created our self-defeating habits, and when we can tap into this level of self-awareness, we will then realize they are destroyed by us as well. It is one thing to defeat someone, but it is another to defeat yourself.

This is a critical point to take in: most people are defeated by their own actions and not the actions of others. While the actions of others impact us, it is our reaction to the crisis that determines whether we can get through it.

When faced with a threatening situation or trauma, our natural instinct is to resort to the emotional and mental relief that these quick-fix behaviors bring us. Initially, self-defeating behaviors appear to be the best friends you could ever have. But in the end, they are exposed for the fake imposters of deception that they are.

SDBs are disguised as loyal companions: dependable, trustworthy, and predictable. They are always there when we need them. And because they predictably numb our pain, helping us to avoid facing an unpleasant truth or situation, our dependency on these behaviors runs deeper and becomes more internalized over time.

Self-defeating behaviors are manifested as mild to extreme mental and emotional ailments, an internal sickness of the mind and body that can harm us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, often placing us in danger through unlawful or spontaneous compulsive actions.

They destroy all our chances of expressing love, achieving success, having wealth, or taking control of our lives. As long as we are trapped within the model of self-defeat, we will never take charge of who we are. We will never seize the day or become masters of our universe. Instead, we will end up with a broken, shattered existence.

Let’s not let that happen.

These behaviors may appear in the form of addictions, negative thinking, and personality disorders, as well as destructive actions. They corrupt personal relationships through hatred, anger, jealousy, envy, fear, greed, manipulation, addiction, or self-centeredness. SDBs are the internal weeds that have grown out of control in the garden of the mind.

It is a repetitive cycle trapping you in a world of lies and deceit, and the more these cycles are allowed to continue, the more likely you will always operate within a state of complete unawareness.

Self-defeating behaviors work because they are reliable and produce the instant results you need. Deceptive in nature, SDBs appear as last-minute saviors to rid you of a situation you don’t want to deal with, helping to numb the pain through alternative methods and providing you, the victim, with weaker choices that appear like the only way out.

We get hooked on the instant relief and escape from emotional pain and trauma that SDBs provide, even if the escape is only momentary. It is these weak emotional lapses that are conditioned to respond to behaviors of crisis whenever we experience any form of stress, pressure, or fatigue.

It is this place where you have stored your worst nightmares, negative behaviors, and buried skeletons of the past. It is also the birthplace of all character defects and cracks in your psyche, which provide the starting point for these defeating behaviors to grow and develop.